Twenty Years of Practice: Expansion & Growth

You are reading the third installment of my blog series on celebrating twenty years of practice as a professional counselor. In my third act, I begin the process of starting my private practice. By May 2014, I had opened up my practice after seeing the need to make more money, primarily due to being in a long-term committed relationship and becoming a stepparent. I wanted to ensure I could financially provide, and I saw my earning potential as a trauma therapist. I also began to explore other interventions for trauma after getting stuck again with some clients who had complex trauma linked back to early developmental years. 

In this exploration for more professional experience in treating developmental trauma, I had also undergone a miscarriage. This experience led me back to therapy to process the loss. It also allowed me to start taking steps to heal my physical health after the miscarriage diagnosed polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) as the cause. During this round of therapy, I was the recipient of neurofeedback to help with some of my trauma symptoms. Neurofeedback seemed to have great potential to help people reduce symptoms of PTSD and help regulate the nervous system. I decided to add neurofeedback to my new private practice, which allowed for more referrals and clients. 

After neurofeedback, I became curious about adding more tools to offer clients in my practice. I was also becoming more open to making my practice online and offering personal and professional coaching. A colleague invited me to a women's entrepreneur Facebook group, many of whom were trained therapists looking to add coaching or other online services. Many of them became successful, inspiring me to hire my first business coach and see a certified hypnotist. My curiosity around hypnosis came from seeing how many of my clients seemed stuck in therapy due to their defenses that seemed out of their control to change. I wondered if offering hypnosis would help clients overcome resistance and be open to more healing and wholeness. After being a hypnosis client, I began seeing how my thinking was holding me back from success and happiness. I became a certified hypnotist to learn how to encourage clients to relax and free themselves from the mental chains that were preventing their healing. 

Amid business coaching and hypnosis, I began to see my curiosity about spirituality broaden. Many of the women I encountered in my business coaching programs were spiritual, and I was open to exploring all different forms of expression. With my exposure to how changing thinking can become a spiritual practice in hypnosis, I attended some retreats led by my business coach. These experiences helped me have more positive experiences with women in a receptive and supportive setting. Professionally, I took another leap of faith and began training to become a remote energy worker with ThetaHealing. This empowering method was another example of how women modeled a positive experience around healing and recovery.

These experiences built more foundations to become a remote therapist and coach. The professional tools I accumulated also allowed me to attract my ideal clients more efficiently and effectively. As my practice grew, I was able to let go of many of the insurance companies that were paying far below the national average. I was healing my physical and mental health by learning more about how our bodies carry the burden of chronic stress and trauma. But with all my privilege and help, I felt blocked in my ability to receive and give love. It was time to level up again. Next time, I will embark on my final chapter that is still being written.

Twenty Years of Practice: Building & Specializing

My last blog post began a series on twenty years as a professional counselor. In the first four years, I was working in substance abuse facilities, getting my independent license, and realizing that a traditional full-time counseling job was burning me out. I began to exit my full-time job and build a bridge to full-time private practice. By the summer of 2008, I found a part-time counseling job at a DUI center, which could help build my job bridge. I also joined a private practice group to develop my caseload while learning how to do insurance credentialing for the practice. My third part-time job was at the local school district as a coordinator for the district-wide mentoring program. In my free time, I was also a dog sitter. By the fall, I had quit my full-time job. These part-time jobs were my bridge to a better professional future. I was running around from one job to the next, and this feeling of freedom and mobility encouraged and energized me to keep focusing on building my skills for private practice. Despite my varying work schedule, I enjoyed the variety of experiences I had.

After a semester at the school district, I let the job go due to ongoing scheduling conflicts. I picked up weekend work at the local psychiatric hospital as an admissions counselor, another growth edge in learning to use my skills for people in crisis. This season was about building a foundation for more professional freedom. I was connecting with other therapists doing private practice on the side and discovered a colleague who wanted to branch out and start a group practice. My growing skill set in insurance credentialing helped me feel empowered to join my colleague in their group practice, and another colleague joined us from the psychiatric hospital.

Starting a private practice takes lots of work and collaboration. By the summer of 2009, we had secured office space and began seeing clients. We were excited about the new endeavor and pooled our professional connections to market our practice in the old-fashioned way. While social media existed, we weren't using them for marketing purposes. In the previous two years, I had also undergone some personal transitions that had changed my associations with my family and spiritual beliefs. I was already living with my boyfriend and attending Al-Anon meetings for ongoing support and to establish a new community outside Christianity.

By this time, I had been feeling stuck with several clients in private practice. I could see how their struggles with chronic anxiety, depression, or substance abuse affected their lives. While I would be empathetic, validate, and provide coping skills, my efforts felt futile in the face of chronic distress and disease. Even traditional cognitive behavioral therapy didn't make a dent in relieving clients' symptoms.

I attended a seminar in the first group practice held by a colleague specializing in trauma. They were talking about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and its effectiveness in relieving trauma, chronic anxiety, depression, and even substance abuse. The talk made me curious about this modality, and I quickly referred one of my clients to this therapist. My colleague was gracious to allow me to observe the EMDR session they did with my client, and from that point on, I knew trauma was to be my area of specialty.

I quickly started researching EMDR training and found one in the fall of 2009 while building my caseload at the new group practice. The two-part EMDR training involves practicing the experiential modality on each other in triads. The training was my first exposure to the power of this modality to clear trauma from the mind and body. I distinctly remember my back being damp with sweat after I processed a trauma during the training. I was physically and emotionally tired, but I also felt unburdened and more hopeful. I was ready to help facilitate this healing feeling with my clients in private practice.

In this season of building more freedom professionally, I was experiencing more freedom personally by discovering trauma therapy for myself. I had already returned to therapy since graduate school, mainly to help understand my chronic depression, and trauma helped to explain much of my symptoms that were cyclical. After building up my client schedule in the group practice for most of 2010 while also receiving more relief from my traumas, I let go of part-time jobs and felt more equipped as a professional and a person to continue in my career. Private practice gave me the freedom to take care of myself more often, and I was ready to keep growing and learning.

Next time, I will share how I reached another growth edge as a therapist, entrepreneur, and person as I specialized and branched out into my private practice while also becoming a stepparent.

Twenty Years of Practice: Insights on the Journey

This May will mark twenty years since I graduated with my degree in Counseling Psychology. To integrate what I have learned in twenty years, I am writing a series of blog posts to share my journey as a counselor, psychotherapist, and healer. While most of what I will share will highlight how I have grown as a professional, I also want to emphasize that my learning coincides with my personal development as a human being. I was four months shy of my 25th birthday at the time of my graduation. I had already started my healing journey by attending therapy while in graduate school. I continued to practice what I preach by exploring many healing modalities, all while getting trained to use them professionally. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunities I have had to learn and grow as a human being and a professional counselor.

The first five years of my career found me in the field of substance abuse treatment. This was not my field of choice, but it was where I secured my graduate internship and first full-time job. I worked in both residential, intensive outpatient, and outpatient facilities in Illinois, serving adolescents, adults, and people who received a DUI. The education I received by being in hospital-based programs and state-funded facilities was invaluable for a person who grew up in conservative Christianity, where using any substance was frowned upon. My client's struggles opened my eyes to the cyclical nature of substance abuse, the systemic causes of chronic relapse, and the powerless feeling of watching people suffer despite being in treatment. I had many supervisors during my first two years in practice, all providing different types of support for a junior counselor. After those two years, I was able to sit for the state exam, which grants you the license to practice independently.

After securing my license, I was able to be a supervisor for a short period of time before falling into chronic burnout. After a period of time off, I considered leaving the counseling profession. After reconsidering, I knew I needed to be in a different setting to keep my passion for counseling alive and avoid burnout in the future. I began looking for other jobs, specifically joining a group private practice.

I am very proud of the leap of faith I took in the fall of 2008 at 29. I knew I would keep burning out if I had the demanding schedule of a traditional job, Monday through Friday, 8-5. I also knew that leaping straight into private practice was unrealistic due to having to build up a caseload. I was highly motivated to bridge some part-time jobs to help me transition from full-time work into full-time private practice.

I was already using my undiagnosed autism and neurodivergent brain to accommodate my needs for more freedom in my work schedule, to decompress, and to use lifestyle medicine to prevent burnout. My intuition and natural healing intelligence knew I needed to take professional risks to keep my passion alive. I am so grateful I listened to my inner voice and took these risks while still relatively young.

I look forward to sharing my professional bridge-building and budding entrepreneurial spirit next time!

Deconstruction: Recovering from religious abuse

A new documentary is shining a light on religious abuse. Shiny Happy People: Duggard family secrets highlights a Christian organization (IBLP) perpetuating legalism and abuse. Coming from a religious background, I am familiar with the process of deconstruction. Deconstruction is a term that is often used by people who are exiting legalistic forms of Christianity. However, I like to use the term for anyone who is in the process of questioning, examining, and redefining what religion or spirituality means to them. This can especially be true for clients born into a religious group and learning to claim their own definition of spiritual practice.

While there is no set formula for deconstruction, having a compassionate witness is a great start. For many people in this process, just allowing themselves to question and process their upbringing within religion and their feelings about their experiences can be huge. A significant first step for individuals in high-control religion or cult-like environments is asking questions. Doing this in therapy can create space for an unbiased viewpoint.

As a form of relating and disclosure, I have done my own deconstruction from legalistic Christianity. My formal education in counseling was at a seminary, alongside people training to be pastors and missionaries. While the quality of my education was good, I have had to untangle the associations with belief structures being a part of the counseling process.

While I consider myself a spiritual person today, I also keep my mind and heart open to all expressions, even simply being present in this world. The present moment is all we have, and in exploring everything from atheism to new-age practices, I strive to be compassionately present in all I do.

Trauma therapy for religious abuse can encompass any or all modalities I have to offer, as our process is collaborative and flexible. If you are deconstructing and would like support, please fill out my application here or email me.

Gender-Affirming & Neurodiverse Mental Healthcare: an update

Last year, I wrote about inclusivity during Pride month, and also came out! This year, the timing of this post coincides with the national conversation around gender-affirming care. This access has been threatened for many people, including those in my state of Florida.

Since I identify as a neurodiverse queer person who is still learning how to present as an inclusive psychotherapist, I wanted to take some time to share a bit about how I am working on providing ongoing affirming care for my diverse clients.

First, a few disclaimers. I am a Caucasian female (she/they) who innately has privilege based on these two facts. I do not experience blatant discrimination based on my gender identification, sexual orientation, or race. Due to my economic privilege, I have found independent practitioners who provide gender and neurodiverse healthcare.

During our intake process, I will ask if you prefer any electronic forms to communicate any needs related to your mental health care. I usually gather this information in a conversational style so that you can disclose or withhold any information at your pace. However, some neurodiverse people prefer to communicate in writing, and you will have this option throughout our treatment.

In this ongoing relationship, I will be asking for any neurodiverse, cultural, gender, sexuality, or other considerations you would want me to know. Again, this information will also be available in written form. As we progress, I approach all therapeutic relationships with a sense of curiosity and a beginner’s mind. You are ultimately the expert on yourself, and if I don’t understand something, my neurodiverse brain will seek to understand by remaining open to you and your lived experience.

As your advocate, I have worked with clients with comorbid physical health issues that are often chronic and ongoing. I work hard to help my clients find local doctors, dentists, and bodyworkers who are considerate of chronic conditions. In this search, I am also looking for healthcare providers who listen and consider my clients neurodiverse and gender orientations as part of their ongoing care.

Despite my efforts to educate myself and remain curious and compassionate, I still make mistakes. Moving through the world as a queer or trans person often feels dangerous. I understand that paranoia is a natural byproduct of hate and discrimination. I also know that I may miss things, despite working on my blind spots and my innate privilege. I hope we work together with ongoing collaboration, curiosity, and grace.

Being proud of who we are is an innate right we all have as human beings. I am proud of my neurodiverse brain, my androgynous orientation to sexuality and gender, and my growing capacity for love in all forms. If you are interested in working with me, please fill out my application here or email me here.

Integration Services: For Psychedelic Therapies and Beyond

In the past year, I have been in a nine-month training program for ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP). I have previously written on the topic of psychedelic therapy here, and have been offering integration services for clients since early 2020.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with what integration therapy is, here is a brief description: when a person knows ahead of time they will be undergoing ketamine-assisted therapy (the only legal form of medicine-assisted therapy available), it is recommended they connect with a therapist to help prepare them for the sessions. These preparation sessions can help to process the goals of seeking KAP or other forms of plant medicine therapy. While I can help a client to set their intentions and plan for aftercare, I can not recommend clients seek to use illegal substances. Since I practice a harm-reduction model to substance abuse, clients are encouraged to discuss their plans while not expecting me to give direct feedback to use of illegal substances.

There are other indications for potential clients to utilize integration services. I have had several clients who either knowingly or unknowingly injested a psychedelic substance, and had a very challenging experience with ongoing symptoms long after the substance has exited their system. Integration services can help a client process these challenging experiences, much like in trauma therapy. Other instances where integration work can be helpful are: after any type of psychotic episode, prolonged depersonalization or derealization, or deep existential crisis.

Very often, KAP is done in a series of sessions for the most effective, symptom reducing treatment possible. It is recommended that clients have regular integration sessions after their KAP sessions in order to process and make sense of what they have experienced into their every day life. Clients often find these sessions to be very useful, especially when they experience great relief in symptoms, but don’t always remember what to work on. Most types of psychedelic sessions, if done well, provide an opening in a client’s life to make more significant, long-lasting changes in therapy they might have previously struggled to implement.

To demonstrate this point, behavior change is one of the hardest things to consistently implement for clients. After several of my plant medicine experiences, I received clarity in the areas where I wanted and needed to make changes. Most of these changes come in the way of lifestyle medicine, otherwise known as biohacking. The simplest example of implementing lifestyle medicine is with consistent nutrition and exercise that will support my ongoing healing process. One of my main areas of lifestyle medicine is using nature: the sun, water, ground, and fire sources to help balance my body and mind.

This morning I wasn’t feeling well. In order to aide in my bodies immune response, I drove to my nearby freshwater spring. I have made lifestyle changes to live in an area where I can access natural elements year round. Taking a morning plunge in the 68 degree water, swimming around, and then sunning off, was medicine for my body, mind and spirit.

If you are curious about ketamine-assisted therapy—which I don’t provide directly—integration services for previous or upcoming plant medicine journeys, or want to know more about working with me, please fill out my online application here, see my provider listing in psychedelic support here, and read more about my personal experience with plant medicine here. I wish you well in your journeys!

After a morning soak in the freshwater springs.