Twenty Years of Practice: Insights on the Journey

This May will mark twenty years since I graduated with my degree in Counseling Psychology. To integrate what I have learned in twenty years, I am writing a series of blog posts to share my journey as a counselor, psychotherapist, and healer. While most of what I will share will highlight how I have grown as a professional, I also want to emphasize that my learning coincides with my personal development as a human being. I was four months shy of my 25th birthday at the time of my graduation. I had already started my healing journey by attending therapy while in graduate school. I continued to practice what I preach by exploring many healing modalities, all while getting trained to use them professionally. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunities I have had to learn and grow as a human being and a professional counselor.

The first five years of my career found me in the field of substance abuse treatment. This was not my field of choice, but it was where I secured my graduate internship and first full-time job. I worked in both residential, intensive outpatient, and outpatient facilities in Illinois, serving adolescents, adults, and people who received a DUI. The education I received by being in hospital-based programs and state-funded facilities was invaluable for a person who grew up in conservative Christianity, where using any substance was frowned upon. My client's struggles opened my eyes to the cyclical nature of substance abuse, the systemic causes of chronic relapse, and the powerless feeling of watching people suffer despite being in treatment. I had many supervisors during my first two years in practice, all providing different types of support for a junior counselor. After those two years, I was able to sit for the state exam, which grants you the license to practice independently.

After securing my license, I was able to be a supervisor for a short period of time before falling into chronic burnout. After a period of time off, I considered leaving the counseling profession. After reconsidering, I knew I needed to be in a different setting to keep my passion for counseling alive and avoid burnout in the future. I began looking for other jobs, specifically joining a group private practice.

I am very proud of the leap of faith I took in the fall of 2008 at 29. I knew I would keep burning out if I had the demanding schedule of a traditional job, Monday through Friday, 8-5. I also knew that leaping straight into private practice was unrealistic due to having to build up a caseload. I was highly motivated to bridge some part-time jobs to help me transition from full-time work into full-time private practice.

I was already using my undiagnosed autism and neurodivergent brain to accommodate my needs for more freedom in my work schedule, to decompress, and to use lifestyle medicine to prevent burnout. My intuition and natural healing intelligence knew I needed to take professional risks to keep my passion alive. I am so grateful I listened to my inner voice and took these risks while still relatively young.

I look forward to sharing my professional bridge-building and budding entrepreneurial spirit next time!

Deconstruction: Recovering from religious abuse

A new documentary is shining a light on religious abuse. Shiny Happy People: Duggard family secrets highlights a Christian organization (IBLP) perpetuating legalism and abuse. Coming from a religious background, I am familiar with the process of deconstruction. Deconstruction is a term that is often used by people who are exiting legalistic forms of Christianity. However, I like to use the term for anyone who is in the process of questioning, examining, and redefining what religion or spirituality means to them. This can especially be true for clients born into a religious group and learning to claim their own definition of spiritual practice.

While there is no set formula for deconstruction, having a compassionate witness is a great start. For many people in this process, just allowing themselves to question and process their upbringing within religion and their feelings about their experiences can be huge. A significant first step for individuals in high-control religion or cult-like environments is asking questions. Doing this in therapy can create space for an unbiased viewpoint.

As a form of relating and disclosure, I have done my own deconstruction from legalistic Christianity. My formal education in counseling was at a seminary, alongside people training to be pastors and missionaries. While the quality of my education was good, I have had to untangle the associations with belief structures being a part of the counseling process.

While I consider myself a spiritual person today, I also keep my mind and heart open to all expressions, even simply being present in this world. The present moment is all we have, and in exploring everything from atheism to new-age practices, I strive to be compassionately present in all I do.

Trauma therapy for religious abuse can encompass any or all modalities I have to offer, as our process is collaborative and flexible. If you are deconstructing and would like support, please fill out my application here or email me.

Gender-Affirming & Neurodiverse Mental Healthcare: an update

Last year, I wrote about inclusivity during Pride month, and also came out! This year, the timing of this post coincides with the national conversation around gender-affirming care. This access has been threatened for many people, including those in my state of Florida.

Since I identify as a neurodiverse queer person who is still learning how to present as an inclusive psychotherapist, I wanted to take some time to share a bit about how I am working on providing ongoing affirming care for my diverse clients.

First, a few disclaimers. I am a Caucasian female (she/they) who innately has privilege based on these two facts. I do not experience blatant discrimination based on my gender identification, sexual orientation, or race. Due to my economic privilege, I have found independent practitioners who provide gender and neurodiverse healthcare.

During our intake process, I will ask if you prefer any electronic forms to communicate any needs related to your mental health care. I usually gather this information in a conversational style so that you can disclose or withhold any information at your pace. However, some neurodiverse people prefer to communicate in writing, and you will have this option throughout our treatment.

In this ongoing relationship, I will be asking for any neurodiverse, cultural, gender, sexuality, or other considerations you would want me to know. Again, this information will also be available in written form. As we progress, I approach all therapeutic relationships with a sense of curiosity and a beginner’s mind. You are ultimately the expert on yourself, and if I don’t understand something, my neurodiverse brain will seek to understand by remaining open to you and your lived experience.

As your advocate, I have worked with clients with comorbid physical health issues that are often chronic and ongoing. I work hard to help my clients find local doctors, dentists, and bodyworkers who are considerate of chronic conditions. In this search, I am also looking for healthcare providers who listen and consider my clients neurodiverse and gender orientations as part of their ongoing care.

Despite my efforts to educate myself and remain curious and compassionate, I still make mistakes. Moving through the world as a queer or trans person often feels dangerous. I understand that paranoia is a natural byproduct of hate and discrimination. I also know that I may miss things, despite working on my blind spots and my innate privilege. I hope we work together with ongoing collaboration, curiosity, and grace.

Being proud of who we are is an innate right we all have as human beings. I am proud of my neurodiverse brain, my androgynous orientation to sexuality and gender, and my growing capacity for love in all forms. If you are interested in working with me, please fill out my application here or email me here.

Integration Services: For Psychedelic Therapies and Beyond

In the past year, I have been in a nine-month training program for ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP). I have previously written on the topic of psychedelic therapy here, and have been offering integration services for clients since early 2020.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with what integration therapy is, here is a brief description: when a person knows ahead of time they will be undergoing ketamine-assisted therapy (the only legal form of medicine-assisted therapy available), it is recommended they connect with a therapist to help prepare them for the sessions. These preparation sessions can help to process the goals of seeking KAP or other forms of plant medicine therapy. While I can help a client to set their intentions and plan for aftercare, I can not recommend clients seek to use illegal substances. Since I practice a harm-reduction model to substance abuse, clients are encouraged to discuss their plans while not expecting me to give direct feedback to use of illegal substances.

There are other indications for potential clients to utilize integration services. I have had several clients who either knowingly or unknowingly injested a psychedelic substance, and had a very challenging experience with ongoing symptoms long after the substance has exited their system. Integration services can help a client process these challenging experiences, much like in trauma therapy. Other instances where integration work can be helpful are: after any type of psychotic episode, prolonged depersonalization or derealization, or deep existential crisis.

Very often, KAP is done in a series of sessions for the most effective, symptom reducing treatment possible. It is recommended that clients have regular integration sessions after their KAP sessions in order to process and make sense of what they have experienced into their every day life. Clients often find these sessions to be very useful, especially when they experience great relief in symptoms, but don’t always remember what to work on. Most types of psychedelic sessions, if done well, provide an opening in a client’s life to make more significant, long-lasting changes in therapy they might have previously struggled to implement.

To demonstrate this point, behavior change is one of the hardest things to consistently implement for clients. After several of my plant medicine experiences, I received clarity in the areas where I wanted and needed to make changes. Most of these changes come in the way of lifestyle medicine, otherwise known as biohacking. The simplest example of implementing lifestyle medicine is with consistent nutrition and exercise that will support my ongoing healing process. One of my main areas of lifestyle medicine is using nature: the sun, water, ground, and fire sources to help balance my body and mind.

This morning I wasn’t feeling well. In order to aide in my bodies immune response, I drove to my nearby freshwater spring. I have made lifestyle changes to live in an area where I can access natural elements year round. Taking a morning plunge in the 68 degree water, swimming around, and then sunning off, was medicine for my body, mind and spirit.

If you are curious about ketamine-assisted therapy—which I don’t provide directly—integration services for previous or upcoming plant medicine journeys, or want to know more about working with me, please fill out my online application here, see my provider listing in psychedelic support here, and read more about my personal experience with plant medicine here. I wish you well in your journeys!

After a morning soak in the freshwater springs.

Coming Out: Inclusivity for LGBTQIA + Neurodiversity

It’s been almost two years since I have written for this blog. The pandemic has challenged me, both in positive and negative ways. During this time, I have done lots of self reflection, moved from Illinois to Georgia, and to Florida. My professional work continues to evolve as I evolve, and as such, it was time to publicly write down a few spaces and places where I am supporting myself and other humans.

As our world becomes more inclusive, it is important to express my own support and personal journey on the spectrum that is gender, sexuality, and neurodiversity.

• Being gender fluid: While I still identify as female (she/they), I consider my gender expression one that is fluid and depends on how I feel and how I show up for myself and others. While I often don’t subscribe to feminine expressions, there are times where putting on makeup and a dress makes me feel really good. There are also times where dressing in a neutral way feels most comfortable.

• Being pansexual: In exploring my sexual identity, I have currently landed on pansexual as it is loosely defined as a person who is attracted to the whole person, regardless of their gender identity. I often need to get to know a person for awhile before really being attracted to them, and as such, my attraction grows based on who they are holistically. Other terms I could use for this: demisexual or sapiosexual.

• Being autistic: In recent months, I went through neuro-psychological testing in order to get a better handle on some of my consistent struggles with socialization and sensory issues. In so doing, I discovered I am on the autism spectrum, needing minimum supports. I will continue to share my journey through the lens of autism, and how my version of neurodiversity has helped me in my professional career. I pick up on things many people overlook, and this attention to detail has served my clients well.

I am still working out my implicit biases based on my privileges due to my race, education, socioeconomic status, and ability to pass as a cisgender person. I hope as I continue to love the diverse parts of myself, I will continue to learn how to be a better therapist to my clients who are exploring any version of themselves in safe, supportive environment.

If you are reading this, and would like further support navigating your gender, sexuality, or neurodiversity, please don’t hesitate to contact me, my application for services is here.

Perla and I say, “hello!” from the Emerald Coast of Florida.

Nervous System Health: For Ourselves, Our Families, and Our World

A few months ago, I had the privilege of presenting a webinar on nervous system health to a group of employees at Self Esteem Brands.

Being a wellness company, their mission is to have learning that supports their vision of helping their employees navigate the transitions we are all experiencing in today’s world.

Jessica Schneider, who spearheads the organization of this learning series, did an amazing job of moderating, and provided structure to the formatting for the topic to engage the participants.

In this recording, you will learn the basics of:

• The autonomic nervous system, along with the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches that help regulate our feelings of safety or danger,

• How Polyvagal Theory is a framework that helps us understand our nervous systems three-tiered response to stress,

• What is the vagus nerve, and how does it affect our gut and our overall nervous system health

• What is trauma, acute stress disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder in relation to nervous system health

• How to use cueing such as self-attunement to help regulate your own nervous system and teach your kids to do the same

• What other tools are available for us to stay regulated in a time where resources and movement can be limited.

If this webinar inspires you, please share it with your family and friends. If you have feedback or questions for me, I’d love to hear about it! Send me an email or contact me via my online application if you’re interested in working with me.

Video Credit: Self Esteem Brands, Inc.
Presentation: All images and theories are given credit

For more info: Send me a message or contact me via my online application!