Twenty Years of Practice: Building & Specializing

My last blog post began a series on twenty years as a professional counselor. In the first four years, I was working in substance abuse facilities, getting my independent license, and realizing that a traditional full-time counseling job was burning me out. I began to exit my full-time job and build a bridge to full-time private practice. By the summer of 2008, I found a part-time counseling job at a DUI center, which could help build my job bridge. I also joined a private practice group to develop my caseload while learning how to do insurance credentialing for the practice. My third part-time job was at the local school district as a coordinator for the district-wide mentoring program. In my free time, I was also a dog sitter. By the fall, I had quit my full-time job. These part-time jobs were my bridge to a better professional future. I was running around from one job to the next, and this feeling of freedom and mobility encouraged and energized me to keep focusing on building my skills for private practice. Despite my varying work schedule, I enjoyed the variety of experiences I had.

After a semester at the school district, I let the job go due to ongoing scheduling conflicts. I picked up weekend work at the local psychiatric hospital as an admissions counselor, another growth edge in learning to use my skills for people in crisis. This season was about building a foundation for more professional freedom. I was connecting with other therapists doing private practice on the side and discovered a colleague who wanted to branch out and start a group practice. My growing skill set in insurance credentialing helped me feel empowered to join my colleague in their group practice, and another colleague joined us from the psychiatric hospital.

Starting a private practice takes lots of work and collaboration. By the summer of 2009, we had secured office space and began seeing clients. We were excited about the new endeavor and pooled our professional connections to market our practice in the old-fashioned way. While social media existed, we weren't using them for marketing purposes. In the previous two years, I had also undergone some personal transitions that had changed my associations with my family and spiritual beliefs. I was already living with my boyfriend and attending Al-Anon meetings for ongoing support and to establish a new community outside Christianity.

By this time, I had been feeling stuck with several clients in private practice. I could see how their struggles with chronic anxiety, depression, or substance abuse affected their lives. While I would be empathetic, validate, and provide coping skills, my efforts felt futile in the face of chronic distress and disease. Even traditional cognitive behavioral therapy didn't make a dent in relieving clients' symptoms.

I attended a seminar in the first group practice held by a colleague specializing in trauma. They were talking about Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and its effectiveness in relieving trauma, chronic anxiety, depression, and even substance abuse. The talk made me curious about this modality, and I quickly referred one of my clients to this therapist. My colleague was gracious to allow me to observe the EMDR session they did with my client, and from that point on, I knew trauma was to be my area of specialty.

I quickly started researching EMDR training and found one in the fall of 2009 while building my caseload at the new group practice. The two-part EMDR training involves practicing the experiential modality on each other in triads. The training was my first exposure to the power of this modality to clear trauma from the mind and body. I distinctly remember my back being damp with sweat after I processed a trauma during the training. I was physically and emotionally tired, but I also felt unburdened and more hopeful. I was ready to help facilitate this healing feeling with my clients in private practice.

In this season of building more freedom professionally, I was experiencing more freedom personally by discovering trauma therapy for myself. I had already returned to therapy since graduate school, mainly to help understand my chronic depression, and trauma helped to explain much of my symptoms that were cyclical. After building up my client schedule in the group practice for most of 2010 while also receiving more relief from my traumas, I let go of part-time jobs and felt more equipped as a professional and a person to continue in my career. Private practice gave me the freedom to take care of myself more often, and I was ready to keep growing and learning.

Next time, I will share how I reached another growth edge as a therapist, entrepreneur, and person as I specialized and branched out into my private practice while also becoming a stepparent.

Twenty Years of Practice: Insights on the Journey

This May will mark twenty years since I graduated with my degree in Counseling Psychology. To integrate what I have learned in twenty years, I am writing a series of blog posts to share my journey as a counselor, psychotherapist, and healer. While most of what I will share will highlight how I have grown as a professional, I also want to emphasize that my learning coincides with my personal development as a human being. I was four months shy of my 25th birthday at the time of my graduation. I had already started my healing journey by attending therapy while in graduate school. I continued to practice what I preach by exploring many healing modalities, all while getting trained to use them professionally. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunities I have had to learn and grow as a human being and a professional counselor.

The first five years of my career found me in the field of substance abuse treatment. This was not my field of choice, but it was where I secured my graduate internship and first full-time job. I worked in both residential, intensive outpatient, and outpatient facilities in Illinois, serving adolescents, adults, and people who received a DUI. The education I received by being in hospital-based programs and state-funded facilities was invaluable for a person who grew up in conservative Christianity, where using any substance was frowned upon. My client's struggles opened my eyes to the cyclical nature of substance abuse, the systemic causes of chronic relapse, and the powerless feeling of watching people suffer despite being in treatment. I had many supervisors during my first two years in practice, all providing different types of support for a junior counselor. After those two years, I was able to sit for the state exam, which grants you the license to practice independently.

After securing my license, I was able to be a supervisor for a short period of time before falling into chronic burnout. After a period of time off, I considered leaving the counseling profession. After reconsidering, I knew I needed to be in a different setting to keep my passion for counseling alive and avoid burnout in the future. I began looking for other jobs, specifically joining a group private practice.

I am very proud of the leap of faith I took in the fall of 2008 at 29. I knew I would keep burning out if I had the demanding schedule of a traditional job, Monday through Friday, 8-5. I also knew that leaping straight into private practice was unrealistic due to having to build up a caseload. I was highly motivated to bridge some part-time jobs to help me transition from full-time work into full-time private practice.

I was already using my undiagnosed autism and neurodivergent brain to accommodate my needs for more freedom in my work schedule, to decompress, and to use lifestyle medicine to prevent burnout. My intuition and natural healing intelligence knew I needed to take professional risks to keep my passion alive. I am so grateful I listened to my inner voice and took these risks while still relatively young.

I look forward to sharing my professional bridge-building and budding entrepreneurial spirit next time!

How to Maximize your Therapy Experience

This fall marks 15 years of being in private practice. During this time, I have specialized in working with trauma, post-traumatic stress, developmental trauma, religious abuse, domestic violence, chronic pain, integration for ketamine therapy and plant medicine, and coming out as a neurodiverse psychotherapist.

Since my clients pay for therapy out of pocket, the financial investment is a huge consideration in knowing how often and for how long to attend therapy. While these decisions are yours to make as a client, I want to share how to maximize your therapy experience.

1. What are my therapy goals? Knowing your therapy goals is very helpful in finding a therapist who can help you meet your goals. If you are looking for symptom reduction, be specific in what symptoms you would like to see improved and what you would like to be experiencing instead. If you don’t know your goals, I usually ask clients in our phone intake before booking a first appointment. 

2. What am I willing to invest? Based on your therapy goals and the price of therapy, this may help you determine how much or how long to engage in treatment. Many clients desire to work with me but can’t afford the investment based on their goals. We can discuss finding a frequency or time frame to create positive momentum without financial stress. 

3. What are my support needs? It is best to consider more frequent sessions if your therapy goals connect to chronic symptoms or conditions. Weekly therapy is best for building positive rapport, consistency, and support if you want to work on the root causes of long-standing or cyclic challenges. Suppose you are looking for symptom reduction linked to a life transition, a supportive check-in, or a time-sensitive issue like integration therapy for plant medicine. In that case, we can arrange a short-term arrangement. 

4. What else do I want to know? Finding the right therapist may take time. I encourage clients to formulate questions to interview potential therapists regarding their specializations, their approach to personal growth, and communication preferences. After committing to a therapist, it can also be helpful to use the first 90 days as a trial period of noticing how you feel about your therapeutic experience and if it’s the right fit for you. Don’t hesitate to re-evaluate things and keep searching! 

If you are interested in working with me, please fill out my application here, or email me. I wish you well in your healing journey!

Deconstruction: Recovering from religious abuse

A new documentary is shining a light on religious abuse. Shiny Happy People: Duggard family secrets highlights a Christian organization (IBLP) perpetuating legalism and abuse. Coming from a religious background, I am familiar with the process of deconstruction. Deconstruction is a term that is often used by people who are exiting legalistic forms of Christianity. However, I like to use the term for anyone who is in the process of questioning, examining, and redefining what religion or spirituality means to them. This can especially be true for clients born into a religious group and learning to claim their own definition of spiritual practice.

While there is no set formula for deconstruction, having a compassionate witness is a great start. For many people in this process, just allowing themselves to question and process their upbringing within religion and their feelings about their experiences can be huge. A significant first step for individuals in high-control religion or cult-like environments is asking questions. Doing this in therapy can create space for an unbiased viewpoint.

As a form of relating and disclosure, I have done my own deconstruction from legalistic Christianity. My formal education in counseling was at a seminary, alongside people training to be pastors and missionaries. While the quality of my education was good, I have had to untangle the associations with belief structures being a part of the counseling process.

While I consider myself a spiritual person today, I also keep my mind and heart open to all expressions, even simply being present in this world. The present moment is all we have, and in exploring everything from atheism to new-age practices, I strive to be compassionately present in all I do.

Trauma therapy for religious abuse can encompass any or all modalities I have to offer, as our process is collaborative and flexible. If you are deconstructing and would like support, please fill out my application here or email me.

Gender-Affirming & Neurodiverse Mental Healthcare: an update

Last year, I wrote about inclusivity during Pride month, and also came out! This year, the timing of this post coincides with the national conversation around gender-affirming care. This access has been threatened for many people, including those in my state of Florida.

Since I identify as a neurodiverse queer person who is still learning how to present as an inclusive psychotherapist, I wanted to take some time to share a bit about how I am working on providing ongoing affirming care for my diverse clients.

First, a few disclaimers. I am a Caucasian female (she/they) who innately has privilege based on these two facts. I do not experience blatant discrimination based on my gender identification, sexual orientation, or race. Due to my economic privilege, I have found independent practitioners who provide gender and neurodiverse healthcare.

During our intake process, I will ask if you prefer any electronic forms to communicate any needs related to your mental health care. I usually gather this information in a conversational style so that you can disclose or withhold any information at your pace. However, some neurodiverse people prefer to communicate in writing, and you will have this option throughout our treatment.

In this ongoing relationship, I will be asking for any neurodiverse, cultural, gender, sexuality, or other considerations you would want me to know. Again, this information will also be available in written form. As we progress, I approach all therapeutic relationships with a sense of curiosity and a beginner’s mind. You are ultimately the expert on yourself, and if I don’t understand something, my neurodiverse brain will seek to understand by remaining open to you and your lived experience.

As your advocate, I have worked with clients with comorbid physical health issues that are often chronic and ongoing. I work hard to help my clients find local doctors, dentists, and bodyworkers who are considerate of chronic conditions. In this search, I am also looking for healthcare providers who listen and consider my clients neurodiverse and gender orientations as part of their ongoing care.

Despite my efforts to educate myself and remain curious and compassionate, I still make mistakes. Moving through the world as a queer or trans person often feels dangerous. I understand that paranoia is a natural byproduct of hate and discrimination. I also know that I may miss things, despite working on my blind spots and my innate privilege. I hope we work together with ongoing collaboration, curiosity, and grace.

Being proud of who we are is an innate right we all have as human beings. I am proud of my neurodiverse brain, my androgynous orientation to sexuality and gender, and my growing capacity for love in all forms. If you are interested in working with me, please fill out my application here or email me here.

Hiring a Neurodiverse Therapist

Earlier this year, I underwent psychological testing and discovered I am on the autism spectrum. This realization has led to a lot of reflection around how I show up as a human and a psychotherapist. I wanted to share a few of these realizations, for those of you who may be looking for a trauma-informed, neurodiverse psychotherapist.

1 . What is neurodiversity? Judy Singer, a sociologist who has autism, started using the term "neurodiversity" in the late 1990s. It refers to the concept that certain developmental disorders are normal variations in the brain. And people who have these features also have certain strengths. Devon Price, the author of Unmasking Autism, creates a wider umbrella for neurodiversity to include many different types of mental health diagnosis that can create brain variations such as: ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and bipolar disorder. My version of neurodiversity, which presents mostly as Aspergers (the now-obsolete term for autism without intellectual disability), means I have deficits in how I socialize, verbalize, and connect with other humans.

2. How can I benefit? One of the hallmarks of autism in the brain is the connectivity differences. Which is to say:

“certain brain regions show high interconnectivity in autistics and comparatively reduced connectivity in neurotypicals, while other brain regions show lower connectivity in autistics and comparatively elevated connectivity in neurotypicals.” (Embrace Autism, connectivity)

Having a neurodiverse psychotherapist can benefit a person who is wanting someone to look at them, their problems or symptoms, in a different way. Having a neural adaptation that views the world through a difference lens can provide perspectives to help assist clients in a change in mindset and even behavior change.

3. Feedback can be tailored. Another hallmark of being on the autism spectrum is my ability to deliver honest feedback. The common problem with my unfiltered version of feedback, is it can come off as too blunt, too direct, or even hurtful. I have learned over the years, that if I have an insight or feedback for clients, to ask first if they want the feedback. As a client, I may even ask if you want feedback presented in a direct fashion, or in a more indirect way. As a rule of thumb, I am able to assess and provide this feedback quickly upon meeting most clients.

4. Relatability as a form of connection. The final realization I wanted to share in hiring a neurodiverse therapist, is that being able to relate is a part of how I connect. In reading various books and articles on autism, one of the ways I learn to connect is by finding common ground. Very often, this could be perceived as making someone else’s topic about me, or disclosing too much about myself as a therapist. If you are noticing that I am relating to you in a session, within appropriate boundaries, it is a way to let you know you are not alone. My goal in relating is to provide connection that is inclusive, and I continue to work on my relatability with all my clients.

If you are reading this, and are also neurodiverse, I would love to hear from you! The more our world is able to embrace all forms of neurodiversity, the more we are all able to be ourselves. I can provide general guidance and feedback for anyone who is looking for a more supportive experience, whether as a psychotherapy client, professional, or human in this world. Please email me or apply to become a client. I look forward to hearing from you!

Diffusion MRI of the human brain. (Image source: Human Connectome Project)